Beastly Academy Awards: Stars of the Animal Kingdom

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Movie stars will shortly be walking the red carpeting to win ( or suffer ) Academy Awards . But why should humans have all the fun ? We ’ve transform Oscar categories into superlatives for the furry fauna , creepy insects and other organisms that apportion our planet . Who will win good costume ? What about best makeup ? Read on for our animal " fame " winners .

Best Visual Effects

I’d like to thank the Academy…

This honor goes to the animal that makes the biggest spectacle of itself with bioluminescence or other impressive talent .

nominee : The glowing squidTaningia danae ; the toothy and aglow Blackdragon fish ; and the amazingtransparent octopusJapetella heathi .

And the achiever is … Japetella heathi . This deep - ocean octopus own the awful power to throw from sheer to opaque and back again . In veritable conditions , the octopuses are see - through , perhaps to prevent themselves as being seen as a dark silhouette against the sea surface . But when bioluminescent light hit them , they instantly become pigmented , preventing a mirror - like glare from alarm potential predatory animal to their existence . Well - played , J. heathi . Please bound your banker’s acceptance oral communication to 45 seconds .

The littleJapetella heathioctopus can switch from transparent to opaque in an instant, enabling it to hide from bioluminescent predators.

good Sound Mixing

This technical pillage lead to the fauna that really bring it in the strait department .

candidate : The piddle boatman , for its implausibly brassy genitals ; the rumblingCalifornia mantis shrimp ; and the Emei music Gaul , for her beautiful sexual love song .

The water boatman (Micronecta scholtzi), above, is only 0.8 inches (2 mm) long but is the loudest animal ever to be recorded, relative to its body size, outperforming all marine and terrestrial species.

And the victor is … The water boatman . This itsy - bitsy worm is the loudest creature on Earth relative to body size , and boy does he pluck it off in the weirdest way . Male water boatmanrub their genitalsagainst rooftree on their bodies to produce coupling songs that rival in flashiness heed to an orchestra from the front - row seat . Truly an prize - gain feat .

good Sound Editing

This laurels goes to the animate being with the all - around coolest call .

The black-marble jawfish was spotted hitching rides with the mimic octopus (Thaumoctopus mimicus) blending in with the eight-legged animal’s body.

Nominees : skin piranhas , for their species - turn approach to communicating ; Dolphinssleep - blab out in alien tongues ; and the Leo , for its diffraction grating , effortless roar .

And the winner is … the dolphin . These marine mammalian go the superfluous mile by mimicking the auditory sensation of other species . Recently , a chemical group of enwrapped dolphins in France was caught rest - babble in the language of whales — a spoken language they ’d only listen play on recordings at their aquatic radical car park home . We assume they ’re amaze into Method acting .

Best Music

The colorful harlequin shrimp.

This accolade goes to the brute with the most musical call .

Nominees : The Filipino tarsier ( we ’re certain itsultrasonic callssound pleasant to its own kind ) ; the croon Emei euphony frog ; and the hunchback whale .

And the achiever is … the humpback giant . It ’s a toughened call , but the haunt euphony of humpback hulk takes the Animal Academy Award . The whales are surprisingly diverse , with different populationssinging clear-cut songs . The Sung dynasty alsofollow grammatical rulesto convey information .

A male houbara bustard displays his white chest feathers in a mating display. A study published Aug. 1 in the journal Ecology Letters finds that male houbara bustards who display most vigorously in their youths pay for it in later life with low sperm counts.

Best Makeup

This awarding goes to the tool that can best change its appearance to flux in .

candidate : The black - marbleised jawfish , for its ability tomimic an octopusthat mimics a Pisces ; the land snailNapaeus barquini , for its do - it - yourself applications programme of camouflaging lichen ; and thecuttlefish , which can mimic both the color and the grain of its surroundings .

A Wilson’s Phalarope feeding.

And the victor is … the black - marbleised jawfish . We screw the multidimensional portrayal of a mimic mimic a mimicker . And whose nub would n’t be melted by the plucky niggling underdog jawfish observe a way to pretend out of his tunnel without fear of predators ?

Best Costume Design

This honour goes to the flashiest , most colourful animal around .

The fisherman who caught the shark is keeping his specimen. [Read full story]

Nominees : Thepoison dart frog , which has evolved brilliant neon cutis to warn piranha of its perniciousness ; the peacock , for reasons both obvious and pearlescent ; and the harlequin shrimp , for its clownlike colors and extra frills .

And the winner is … the harlequin peewee . These pretty piranha are popular for aquarium enthusiasts , but their diet makes keeping them in immurement catchy : The prawn eat only starfish . And they eat them alert . Sometimes over a period of weeks . Let ’s move on to the next category , shall we ?

Best Supporting Actor / Actress

This award goes to the animal with the weirdest group behavior .

candidate : Lebistes reticulatus , for their Jerry - Springer - worthy " girl fights " over males;diving mallet sperm(yes , we know , technically not an fauna ! ) , for their creepy-crawly ability to join together to navigate the female procreative tract ; forest rattler , for their heretofore unknown snuggly behavior .

And the winner is … snuggly snake . Rattlesnakes seem like the standoffish sort , but new enquiry suggest that they ’re actuallymore sociablethan expect , cluster with their kin . Rattlesnake family reunification , anyone ?

Best Actor

This prize is for the best male coupling display .

Nominees : The always over - the - top peacock , for his garish feathering displays ; the hilarious houbara bustard , for theirwild mating runs , which have them cast aside a shield of blanched feather over their faces and scuttle around blindly ; and the marvelousSpatuletail hummingbird , which tumble its foresighted tail in circle to shanghai the dame .

And the winner is … the houbara bustard . Tough challenger for this one , and the Animal Academy does n’t usually reward funniness , but the houbara bustard gives it his all for this profits . Plus thorax features are altogether in this year .

Best Actress

Though females are n’t usually as flashy as males in the wild , this award goes to the female animal that puts on the best mating exhibit .

Nominees : Female butterfly , which , if raised in cool temperature , take it upon themselves topursue malesfor mates ; Wilson ’s Phalaropes , which switch the common sex roles and put on flashy courtship display to snag guy rope ; and the pygmy chimpanzee , for whom sex is an anything - plump group activity .

And the winner is … the Wilson ’s Pharlarope . female in this species of shorebird show up at breeding primer coat first and puff up their feathers to tempt in mates . Once they snag a guy , they fight him zealously , protect a district around the nest where he cares for their baby .

Best Picture

The most prestigious honour of the gang goes to the brute that ’s provided the wild tale of the year .

Nominees : Zombie ants , who capitalise on zombie - mania when assail by amind - keep in line fungus ; the glowing millipede of the genus Mytoxia , whosweat cyanideto ward off predator ; and theCyclops shark , a malformed dusky fetus whose look mix fantastical and cute in equal measure .

And the victor is … the Cyclops shark . millipede and ants are forever , but this weird fetus is one - of - a - form , or at least very rare . consider that the fetal shark is very unlikely to have live outside the uterus , the least we can do is offer it a nice posthumous statuette — and , of course , theobligatory Academy Award memorial reel .