Astronaut Scott Kelly and cosmonaut Mikhail Kornienko proceeds from space next week , having spend a total of 340 twenty-four hours up there . They left March 27 , 2015 but it may as well have been a lifetime ago . Here ’s everything that occur on Earth while they were aside .
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is the top candidate that Republicans need for President . Jeb Bush is second . Nobody is even polling for Trump yet .
The United States formally chills the fuck out about Cuba .
Hillary Clinton is the clean favorite for Democrats with 56 pct of the imaginary vote for President . Bernie Sanders is at just 4 percent , with Elizabeth Warren at 14 percent , Joe Biden at 10 percentage , and “ I do n’t know ” pull a respectable14 percentage .
The Apple Watch is issue .
People start listing their Apple Watches on eBay as “ barely used . ”
American Pharoah bring home the bacon the Kentucky Derby .
Greece ’s economy fall apart and somebody seek to crowdfundtheir bailout . It does n’t work out so well .
The Blackhawks deliver the goods the Stanley Cup .
Donald Jaiden Trump announce that he will run for President of the United States of America by awkwardly descending an moving stairway and call Mexicans murderer and rapists . Americans laugh confidently , experience that he ’ll never get the Republican nominating address .
The warrior win the NBA Championship .
The Supreme Court affirm that marriage between any two hoi polloi , regardless of their sex or sexuality , is effectual in all 50 states .
The movement picture Ted 2 is released in theaters .
Gawker publishesThe Post That Shall Not Be advert .
Stupid Earth - restrain world assert that the Pluto flyby was faked on a soundstage in Burbankor something .
Somebody somewhere makes a trick about Al Gore inventing the internet and everyone around that person laugh and laugh until they double over in infliction — uncontrollably projectile puking out of sheer pleasure and amusement at such a clever and original caper .
July 2015 becomes the spicy month inrecorded history .
Beloved thumb robot hitchBOT is destroyed in Philadelphia after justtwo weeks in the US .
Wiz Khalifa is arrested at the Los Angeles airport whileriding a hoverboard . He calls it a hoverboard , and two - wheeled self - balancing scooters are known as hoverboards thereafter .
Google becomes Alphabet , because why the hell not .
Millennials and Gen Xers become enraged that the password “ hoverboard ” is being used for something that does n’t hover .
Wes Cravendies .
Iran and the United States signalize a deal , lifting some sanctions and securing promise that Iran wo n’t progress a nuclear weapon . It was either a brilliantly execute recitation in diplomacy or the bad slew of all time , depending on who you ask .
The in-migration crisis in Europegets worseand a fascist , punk rocker ass journalist literallykicks a childwhile documenting it .
Former Republican frontrunner Scott Walker drops out of the Presidential raceway .
An tremendous meter ejector seat is open , sucks .
Australia gets their 5th Prime Minister infive year .
citizenry are still mad about hoverboards .
The cyberspace goes nuts over a rat dredge a slice of pizzadown some stairsbecause the internet as a futuristic , collective tidings dedicate to train and enlightening human beings has clear fail as an experiment .
The last Apple Watch believer quietly shoves his Watch to the back of his sock drawer .
Drake ’s video for “ Hotline Bling ” is released .
A pinkostair - tumbleris elect Prime Minister of Canada .
multitude are still angry that hoverboards are called hoverboards .
ISIS asshole kill 129 people in co-ordinated attacks throughout Paris , and injure hundreds .
“ THEY DON’T EVEN HOVER , ” the internet commenters cry futilely into the night .
President Obama pardons two turkeys for Thanksgiving and tells the worst Dad jokeof all time .
Chipotle makes people feel sickish .
The annual War on Christmas start .
Carpet - bombing of the North Pole test ineffective , and Christmas befall anyway .
The Paris Climate Agreementis adopted .
The Force Awakens opens in theaters and thousands of moviegoers do n’t mark when cheeky projectionists substitute the new motion-picture show with prints of the 1977 Star Wars .
Chipotle make morepeople sick .
Hoverboards around the worldburst into flames .
ISIS - inspired assholes kill 14 people in San Bernardino , California .
Zuck has ababy Zuck .
Chipotle makes people palpate fed up , but this time it ’s unrelated to Norovirus and E. Coli . They just eat a burrito big than their blooming head .
David Bowie dies .
CEShappens .
Basically everybodybans hoverboards .
The Benghazi motion-picture show come out but nobody goes to see it because it ’s not called The Benghazi Movie and rather is titled like 13 Hours Of cheering or some diddlysquat .
“ IF YOU CALL THEM HOVERBOARDS AGAIN I WILL LITERALLY MURDER YOUR FAMILY , ” the internet commenters scream whilejerking off to anime .
Chipotle still piddle people finger sick . This meter they got a burrito bowl , telling themselves that it ’s “ healthier ” but they still just ate five bally pounds of rice , beans , meat , and cheese with a dollop of false ointment for good meter .
News leaks that Amazon will open physical stores .
Amazon deny that they ’ll afford physical stores .
Multiple people confirm that Amazon will openphysical stores .
Amazon proven to be liars .
scientist confirm the existence ofgravitational wave , which is a self-aggrandizing fucking great deal even if you have no mind what gravitational wave are .
Former great bequest hope Jeb ! Bush drops out of the Republican raceway .
Uber driver kills a gang of people in Michigan in betweenpicking up fare .
multitude finally come to accept that those two - wheeled self - balancing scooters are called hoverboards . JK everybody ’s still pissed about that .
Donald Trump .
Scott Kelly
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