I inflame up to learn that Father John Misty was on Saturday Night Live last night . “ Oh neat , ” I thought to myself . I have n’t followed his vocation very closely , but I was a big buff of his 2015 track record “ I Love You Honeybear . ” So I headed over to YouTube and fired up the first birdcall he played last night , “ Total Entertainment Forever . ” I lasted roughly 8 second base into the song before Iclosed the pill .
Why did I give up on a song so promptly ? Why did n’t I bother listening to the following 3 minutes or so of what was probably perfectly o.k. music ? Because an former line in this newfangled Father John Misty birdsong include the lyric “ Oculus Rift . ” Specifically , having practical sex with Taylor Swift while wearing one . I close that tab so fast , I did n’t even to the full action what I was doing .
I honestly do n’t be intimate why I had such a key aversion to take heed Father John Misty sing Bible about a fucking virtual reality platform . But I sure did .
“ Bedding Taylor Swift , every night inside the Oculus Rift … ” he sang . I have no idea what he read after that .
Father John Misty should be talk aboutone night stands , crippling depression , anddrunk driving . Shit , he can even do Arcade Fire cover about suburban angst if he’sso inclined . But Oculus Rift is a bridge too far .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoLXrIi1mpU
You know when you go to drink from what you guess is a glass of body of water and it ’s orange succus or something ? Yeah , that ’s what it felt like . There ’s nothing unseasonable with water system and there ’s nothing wrong with orange succus , but the OJ tastes really unadulterated because it was n’t what you were expecting . That was Father John Misty uttering the idiomatic expression “ Oculus Rift . ”
Maybe I ’m just too hungover for anything too jarring aright now . But fuck . Father John Misty should not be saying the idiom Oculus Rift . I swear to God , I closed the tab so chop-chop that I have no musical theme what the rest of the song is about . you may watch the performancehereif you ’re curious , but do n’t even bother tell apart me . I do n’t have the strength to hear any sort of rationalization for it correctly now .
You sleep with what else it feel like ? It feels like Kurt Cobain singing about the practical son or something . And yes , I know that Cobain killed himself a yr before the Virtual Boy came out ( SHUT UP NERDS ) but it ’s the good I can do flop now .
In other news , Oculus denote this workweek that it’sslashing priceson the Rift and Touch controllers because nobody ’s fuckingbuying them . Kind of like the Virtual Boy . Man , I wanted a practical Boy so bad though .
You hump who ’s allowed to tattle about engineering ? Lorde . She can sing about techany day of the calendar week . Stick to regret and sadness and our shit - satisfy world , Father John , if that ’s even your literal name ! ( It ’s not . )
Taylor Swift
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