The mythology of mermaid sex activity is as mysterious as the majestic sea - creature itself . How does one have sex with these alluring beings of the sea ? We attempt to correct the dear riddle out with a little help from pop culture .
mermaid ! Ca n’t endure with ’em ( because they breathe underwater , duh ) ca n’t image out how to have sex activity with them . The human head has been wrapped up in the everlasting mermaid conundrum ever since — as fable has it — sailors tired of having sex with manatee and dugongs and begin fantasy that their sea animal had gentlewoman parts on top . I have no theme this is on-key , but one dark this popped up on a atrocious show calledManswers , ( where they were trying to resolve what animate being vagina is most like a human woman ’s , as you do ) . And because it was on tv , we can all assume that it ’s 100 % true . All of of our past ascendant had sex with dugongs . Someone in your family tree has definitely had sex activity with a manatee — accept that reality into your soul now . Or at least , that is what the show Manswers would like to have you believe .
But where were we ? Mermaid sex , right . So intelligibly , people have haunt with having sexual urge with mermaid - like things for a very foresightful metre , so much so thatCosmopolitanhas even created a sacred mermaid military position to honor our fascination with fish adultery ! But how do you physically do it ? We ’ve become to pop culture and the cyberspace , and this is what they had to say .
The easy room to have sex with a mermaid is to do it while they are in their human class , on land . I make out a lot of you are probably rolling your center , because what ’s the appeal if you ca n’t do it in lusus naturae form ? Trust us , we recognise . But we thought it deserving mentioning . The safest way to have sex with a mermaid ( also with infinitely less clean up ) is to wait until he or she is dry and do it with two pairs of leg . Because as we learned in Splash , almost all mermaid turn into humans when ironic .
But what about the mermaid that need thaumaturgy for sexual practice purpose ? Do n’t worry we ’re addressing this too . First , hold back your mermaid . Is this mermaid an old - timey Hans Christian Anderson Little Mermaid classic , or a new age Disney interlingual rendition where all the good parts are overcompensate up by clam bras and scale ? If you ’ve befriended an early 1800s mermaid , you ’re in chance ! As depicted in multiple illustrations by illustrator Charles Santore ( pictured ) and Edmund Dulac , the suspect part does n’t happen until after the rump ! well-situated peasy , ammirite ?
Here ’s more low-toned exfoliation work by Edmund Dulac .
But what about the modern - age mermaid , given that those do n’t look to have any kind of expose genitalia ? Aquaman broached this subject a few time , and in one peculiar volume from his classic work ( not pictured and we still ca n’t regain the actual control board ) the merfolk lament that their egg are n’t dependable . contribute credence to the traditional Pisces mating technique of the female laying eggs , and the males fertilizing them . Futurama also used this cultural representation of mermaid sex activity in their Fry / Mermaid erotic love story .
megabucks of books dwell in the hide - genitalia realm of the mermaid sex myth . Alida Van Gores ’ Mermaids Songis an exceptionally violent bathing costume ripper that adheres to the philosophy that mermaid have porpoise - corresponding genitalia , a mass of other literary workings find a house here as well . Also Mermaids Song recommends have sex with a mermaid in a padded cave , it ’s that belligerent . Likewise , Jack L. Chalker ’s merfolk in the River of Dancing Gods serial are all mammalian . The book even observe that the human / mammal bits are much more compatible , because of this . Which we gauge should make the whole ordeal less potentially gruesome , because you ’re basically refer .
But what about the literal naughty snatch ? An exceptionally random website titledRadixhad this amazingly detailed ( and anonymous ) description of a mermaid ’s dirty bits ( both mermaids and mermen ) that was SO specific , we just had to admit it .
How mermaids regurgitate
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Females have human internal reproduction organs ; however the vagina is slightly
shorter , and the common urogenital opening ( the urethra merges with the vaginal
epithelial duct near the first step ) is at the front . The opening can extend as much as a
human vaginal opening ; mermaid baby are born live ( as opposed to hatched from
eggs ) . A clitoris ( which is the same colour as the empennage ) is slimly below the
urogenital hatchway , and an anus is above the urogenital opening . Mermaid
vaginas are slenderly small than human ones ( since male mermaid member are
smaller , explained below ) , so they tend to be more sexually substantial to human
male person .
Males do have a penis , but it is almost as small as a human distaff clitoris and
is the same coloration as the tail ; it is hardly seeable ( this is the only plausible
explanation to why no one has ever seen a penis on any of the male mermaid ) .
It is used for urination , as well as sexual intercourse . The testicles are
inside the tail , as opposed to the pelvis , since they expect a slightly lower
temperature to function right ( the human and pelvis part is warm - blooded ,
but the tail is inhuman - full-blood ) . The anus is above the penis .
And if all else fails — take the guessing out of it all , and only date reverse mermaids / world .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc20oTkd1S4
And with that , we bid you good Pisces sex .
Thanks toTV Tropesfor the television help ! Reverse mermaid house painting by René Magritte .
Aquaman
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