Photo: Today Show Twitter
Kelly Rowlandis getting personal.
The 41-year-old singerappearedonTodayearlier this week, where she opened up about reuniting with her father, Christopher Lovett, after being estranged for three decades.
“My understanding of where my dad was as a kid was that he was not really ready as a father,” Rowland began in a pretaped interview. “I was angry at him. I was disappointed in him. I had all of those feelings of abandonment.”
“I think as a kid you just feel like if they’re not there they don’t want to be here. So that’s what I felt and that feeling sucked,” she explained.
Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
Rowland detailed that her feelings towards her father changed after she and husbandTim Weatherspoonwelcomed their first child, sonTitan Jewell, in 2014. (The couple also later welcomed sonNoah Jonin 2021.)
The “Dilemma” singer’s mother Doris Rowland Garrison died three weeks after Titan was born, which made Rowland yearn to see her dad again.
“I said, ‘I really need to know him. I want to meet him,'” Rowland recalled. “… I think I had these feelings of like, ‘Oh my God, I have no parents.’ And it was like, no, you do — you have one left.”
Rowland eventually met up with her father at a hotel in Atlanta, ready to question him about their strained relationship. “Before I walked in, I had all these thoughts of what I was gonna say, I had all these questions lined up,” she toldToday. “And as soon as I saw his face, it was a blank.”
Want to get the biggest stories fromPEOPLEevery weekday?Subscribe to our new podcast, PEOPLE Every Day, to get the essential celebrity, entertainment and human interest news stories Monday through Friday.
Kelly Rowland Instagram
Spending hours together, Rowland said it was “incredible” to connect with her dad again.
“Underneath all the disappointment and hurt and anger and fear — that’s somebody you love,” she said.
Rowland then explained that she learned of her father’s own upbringing and how his relationship with his father was no different. “He’s telling me about his dynamic with his father, and his father’s father, and it’s non-existent, too,” she said. “So how can one learn how to be something when they weren’t taught?”
Continuing the candid conversation, Rowland also noted, “I learned that we are not perfect … You have to allow space. You’re not gonna get it right every time, and that’s okay. And I had to give my dad grace.”
“… As parents, we have to give our parents grace,” the musician added. “It’s never too late. Forgiveness is always right there.”
RELATED VIDEO: Decades Later, The Destiny’s Child Ladies Are As Close As Ever!
When Kotb, 57, asked how the rapper was involved, Rowland explained that when she questioned reconnecting with her father, JAY-Z told her, “Love is all about risk. You gotta decide if you’re gonna jump.”
Arturo Holmes/Getty Images; Steve Granitz/WireImage
Lovett also spoke during the broadcast, telling Kotb that he is thrilled about his current relationship with his daughter, adding that he’s still in disbelief that they have reconnected.
“I couldn’t believe it,” he said of previously seeing Rowland face to face for the first time in years. “It was just like a dream, really. [It’s] the same way I feel now. I don’t believe this.”
Years ago, when Rowland was touring the world withDestiny’s Childwith friends and fellow membersBeyoncéandMichelle Williams, their security team knew not to let Lovett backstage should he ever attend one of her shows.
When Kotb asked Lovett about his famous daughter’s career, he said he followed from afar. “People used to tell me, ‘I saw your daughter,’ and I used to sit there and say, ‘Well, I didn’t,’ and it used to hurt,” he explained.
Today Show Twitter
As for advice for others dealing with similar estrangement issues, Rowland told viewers watching: “I’d have to say, brace yourself and ask yourself a couple of questions: Am I ready for this? Am I ready for, no matter the outcome, whether it’s good or bad?”
“Because the truth is, you don’t want to set yourself up. Everybody’s always scared of the other side, and you don’t know if this person is embracing you with open arms, or if they’re not ready,” she added. “And if they’re not ready, that’s okay.”
source: people.com
