Photo: Nathan Congleton/NBC
Jill Martinused to dream about marriage and motherhood, wanting the white-picket-fence fantasy. But it hasn’t happened — not yet, at least.
Now the 43-year-old fashion expert is opening up about why she’s determined to have it all — the career and the family — even if it means taking the path less traveled.
On April 23, during thethe 3rd Hour ofTodayafter her co-hostDylan Dreyergot candid abouther miscarriage and second infertility, Martin revealed for the first time that she started freezing her eggs five years ago,
The following day, she went into some of the details in acandid post for today.com, explaining the egg-freezing process and her decision to share this intimate piece of her life with the world.
But Martin tells PEOPLE that getting to that stage of realization, and feeling at peace with the course of how her life has panned out thus far, didn’t happen overnight.
“When I graduated from Michigan, all my housemates got married and had kids within the next few years,” Martin tells PEOPLE. “I guess I was kind of like, ‘What’s wrong with me?’ "
As someone who’s admittedly her own worse critic, Martin says she struggled to accept the fact that the white-picket-fence fantasy was slipping away from her. She couldn’t shake the feeling of disappointment,despite experiencing so much professional successat the time.
RELATED VIDEO: Real Housewife Joanna Krupa: Why I’m Freezing My Eggs
Although most of the pressure she felt was self-induced, Martin says she felt it from the people around her as well. As a single woman who was in her late 30s, Martin now recallsthat questions about marriage, kidsand being too “busy at work” followed her everywhere she went.
“I think people didn’t realize that it wasn’t that I didn’t want to get married and have a child,” Martin tells PEOPLE. “I wanted to, it’s just that my path wasn’t leading [to that]. That was hard for me to hear, to be honest.”
“I spent two decades building a career that I believe in and building this business that I still believe in, so I didn’t give my personal life the attention that I gave my professional one,” Martin says. “I don’t have any regrets. I did for a while. I was kind of angry at myself for not being able to live out the plan that I had originally set. The course has just changed a little bit … that’s not my fairy tale. That’s not my version of perfection, and I’m just finding that out now.”
And since opening up, she says she feels “lighter,” she tells PEOPLE: “It was like a giant exhale. I’ve heard so many stories of people saying, ‘Thank you so much. I would never have thought from the way you present yourself that youwere going through all of these things.’ "
“It’s such a close-knit group,” she shares. “I can’t tell you the amount of strength and support I get from colleagues. Iwork with so many incredible women.”
source: people.com
